Illustration by Victor Juhasz
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So, um, yeah. Trump wrote a “letter” to Pelosi. A six-page, lie-filled, rambling, raging “meltdown in real time,” a Nazi rally on White House stationary, a redneck pity party that reads like a sixth-grade loser’s fever dream of revenge against the cool kids who he knows despise him and always will. Setting out to “express my strongest and most powerful protest,” he fumes impotently about it all: the “Witch Hunt!” and “Impeachment Hoax!” and “perfect call!” and “electoral landslide!” and FBI villainy, complete with benighted linguistic gymnastics – “You have cheapened the importance of the very ugly word impeachment!” – and head-scratching redundancies – a “baseless invention of your imagination” – and WTF non sequiturs – “there is no reticence” and Pelosi’s prayers for him clearly “not true unless it is meant in a negative sense.” He’s been treated worse than the victims of the Salem Witch Trials! He’s done so much for America: Its “jobs boom, soaring confidence and flourishing citizens!” His critics “view democracy as your enemy!” Lie, whine, babble, repeat. In response, some mainstream media called this madman’s ravings, this deeply frightening testimony to his own deep-seated unfitness, a “scorching” and “blistering” missive. Pelosi called it what it is: “Very sick.” She also nailed what must come next in a solemn impeachment eve letter to the House. “If we do not act,” she wrote, “we will be derelict in our duty.”