Nancy Pelosi has broken a lot of glass ceilings, or at least that’s what her cheerleaders in the mainstream media are constantly shouting at me from my tv and I guess they’re technically correct. After all, she is the first female Speaker of the House and the first woman to lead a party like a fucking corporation. Over the last twenty years, Nancy Pelosi has been instrumental in making sure that the Democratic Party remains every bit as filthy, corrupt, and debased as their macho Republican cousins and she managed to achieve this mountainous feat during the height of the GOP’s Satanic baptism by neoconservativism.
Under Nancy’s watchful eye, the Democrats have matched a frat pack of openly sexist right-wing He-men pound for pound on killing Muslims, deporting children, evaporating civil liberties, fixing the economy for our shared corporate overlords and getting filthy fucking rich doing it. Nancy Pelosi has been the engine that has driven it all. She is the woman behind the rapists, and she’s done it all in the name of human rights and feminism.
You see, dearest motherfuckers, this is the problem I have with the Gloria Steinem School of Second Wave Feminism. The whole idea of success is predicated on women rising to the top of a tower of bones built by centuries of institutionalized heterosexist chauvinism. The result is women like Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher and Nancy Pelosi, who are supposed to inspire women like me by leading an empire just like the ass-grabbing barbarians they replaced or rather just joined on their mountaintop of fractured skulls and filthy money.
Over the years of trudging through the academic muck of gender theory in order to figure out my own vexingly androgynous path to womanhood, I’ve come to recognize that you don’t have to identify as a man to perform masculinity and I’ve never seen a more revolting performance of reckless jingoistic chauvinism and downright toxic masculinity than Nancy Pelosi’s high-octane invasion of Taiwan.
After months of being warned by everyone from the People’s Liberation Army to the Pentagon that what she was planning put the entirety of mankind at risk, Nancy Pelosi: Superfeminist arrived in Taipei on a military aircraft dragging half the set of a fucking Rambo movie behind her like a wedding train from hell, a dozen F-35’s, a cruiser, a destroyer, a goddamn aircraft carrier and partridge and a pear tree, all for a glorified photo-op of the Madame Speaker with Taiwan’s first female president, Tsai Ing-won, pissing standing up like the big boys on Xi Jinping’s leg.
Well, that and a meeting with Mark Lui, the chairman of the Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Corporation to secure the Military Industrial Complex’s iron grip on the kind of computer chips we need to reduce Beijing to radioactive rubble. But that last part was a little hard for the news to choreograph to a Carly Simon song.
China’s response was pretty predictable considering that everyone with or without a penis fucking predicted it. The Red Dragon clothed by the WTO went fucking bug-nuts and threw a colossal military hissy fit that continues to terrorize the island of Taiwan as we speak. A simulated blockade with Chinese warships occupying five different zones surrounding Taiwan just twelve miles off their coast in the largest display of military power in the region’s history, complete with short-range ballistic missiles being fired over the island and naval drills that came a cunt’s hair away from ending in direct confrontation.
“I think it was worth it.” was Nancy Pelosi’s response to nearly causing an Asian Cuban Missile Crisis for girl power and microchips. But there was another response to Nancy’s diplomatic provocations that may well prove to be far more lethal than China’s and knowing how sly that veteran fraud is, I’m not convinced that it wasn’t the real motivation behind this whole sick and sorry episode.
The most grotesque achievement of Nancy’s feminist blitz of Taipei was the overwhelmingly unanimous support she received for this seemingly senseless provocation from even the most isolationist-minded Republicans, nearly all of whom lined up like toy soldiers behind a woman they routinely accuse of running Satanic child sex rings. That’s because the only thing the far-right hates more than mouthy women is the Chinese who they blame for everything from cattle mutilation to hemorrhoids.
Donald Trump may be about as isolationist as his next check from the Saudis for a kilo of nuclear secrets stashed beneath his waterbed in Mar-a-Lago but his empty-fisted rhetoric about putting America first before endless forever wars gave many working-class conservatives the fire they had been waiting for to finally burn the Bush/Cheney signs haunting their front lawns. Believe it or not, it is this very streak of war-weary nationalism that has been the biggest domestic obstacle to Biden’s otherwise bipartisan New Cold War with Putin’s Russia.
Your average House Republican doesn’t give a second thought about shipping AT-ATs to Ukraine as long as the checks from Raytheon don’t bounce but Tucker Carlson does. Say what you will about that smug little trust-fund baby, he’s a heinously xenophobic white nationalist pig fucker who treats terrified transgender children like bowling pins, but he’s also tragically the most consistently antiwar personality on cable news since MSNBC shit-canned Phil Donahue for politely opposing the Iraq War.
Tucker has been an outspoken critic not just of America’s proxy war in Ukraine but Donald Trump’s own dalliances with bombing shithole countries like Syria and Iran, and his colossal audience essentially is the GOP. This is how we have come to bear witness to the bizarre spectacle of racist lunatics like Lauren Bobbert and Marjorie Taylor Greene somehow being the only people in Congress sane enough to oppose sending a blank check for weapons of mass destruction to a Ukrainian government that routinely ranks somewhere between Putin’s Russia and the Gambino Family on the corruption scale.
But no matter how much of an isolationist Tucker may or may not be, much like Charles Lindbergh, he’s also a motherfucking racist at the end of the day and there is no one that Alt-Lite gadflies like him hate more than the Chinese. Tucker will make nice with tankies from the Grayzone over Russia until the chupacabras come home but the moment China comes up he turns into a stark raving neocon lunatic every bit as willing to blow us all to kingdom come as Joe Biden is just to keep Asia from taking the white man’s rightful place as the world’s foremost economic superpower.
This is a stage 4 case of cultural chauvinism, plain and simple, and by provoking China’s gross overreaction to her highly publicized Taiwanese vacay, Nancy Pelosi played these conditional non-interventionists like the shrimp dicked Sinophobic hypocrites they are, manipulating them with their own white pride into backing a war machine that they facetiously pretend to hate until their fragile identity feels threatened. Taiwan was the perfect magic wand for this New Cold War trick because historically speaking Taiwan is essentially just a dark-skinned Ukraine.
Every military colossus from the Queen’s Navy to the Empire of the Sun has used that poor fucking island as a launching pad for imperial aggression against the Chinese people the same way many of these same forces have with Ukraine vis a vis Russia. That plucky little island democracy spent the first Cold War as a glorified army base for a fascist opium-slinging dictator named Chiang Kai-shek who held Taiwan hostage under martial law for 38 years while he and his Brown Shirts in the Kuomintang proclaimed themselves to be the only legitimate government of China, a country they collaborated with the genocidal Japanese to destroy during the Second World War before Mao kicked their asses to the fucking curb.
Taiwan only sort-of embraced democracy once these gangsters had become so fully entrenched in their nation’s deep state as to be virtually irretractable regardless of who their people vote for. Just like Putin, Xi is a revanchist prick but he’s not wrong to consider his next-door neighbor a renegade province under these circumstances and he’s not paranoid to be pissed off at the US for running naval drills with nuclear death machines off China’s coastline in concert with this sketchy state that we promised to remain neutral on with the One China Policy.
Basically, Taiwan is primed for Xi to become what Ukraine was primed for Putin to be, an irresistible beartrap baited with centuries of historical trauma to snare another American adversary into an unwinnable quagmire. The only difference is that this time woke warmongers like Nancy Pelosi have the perfect right-wing aphrodisiac of racism on their side and this putrid ploy has worked before.
After all, FDR used the same strategy to break the original America First Movement when he provoked the Japanese into attacking haole-occupied Hawaii and then drowned an equally war-weary nation in an ocean of tax-funded anti-Japanese propaganda that successfully overrode homespun common sense with deep-seated fears of the Eastern Other. And this time taxpayers won’t even have to pay a dime for their indoctrination because isolationists like Tucker Carlson are more than happy to run the propaganda necessary to frighten peace-loving middle Americans into embracing the insanity of another world war for free.
The endgame remains the same as the one in Ukraine. This isn’t about Putin or Xi. This isn’t about autocracy or democracy. This isn’t even really about Russia or China. It’s about Russia and China. It’s about Eurasia, the economic integration of which has always represented the greatest threat to American global hegemony and ghastly opportunists like Nancy Pelosi aren’t above using feminism or racism to strangle that threat in its cradle.
As far as I’m concerned, that isn’t just an assault on world peace, that’s an assault against philosophies like feminism and isolationism that are supposed to be devoted to world peace. Speaking as a proudly isolationist transfeminist, the only thing that offends me more than shallow bigots like Tucker Carlson are manipulative frauds like Nancy Pelosi, who gives human rights a bad name with her big macho ego. Put it back in your pants, chickenhawk.
This content originally appeared on CounterPunch.org and was authored by Nicky Reid.