Impeachment Derangement: Or How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love Trump

I’m not an Evangelical Christian, lover of Israel, or someone who wants to ban Muslims from entering America. Would never put a kid in a cage or a dog in a box.

I’m not a wounded warrior, won’t allow guns or flag waving in my house, don’t voluntarily stand for the Anthem.

Don’t ride a Harley or make menacing faces. IMHO, leather vests, blue jeans and jack boots make for a silly ensemble on aging white nationalists.

Not a banker, CEO, landlord. Don’t invest my hard-earned $$$ in pharmaceutical corps (though I have nothing against opioids, per se). I want to “tax the rich until there ain’t no rich anymore.”

I’m certainly not a male chauvinist or libertarian like Jeff St Clair. It’s not all fun and games for me. I have a conscience. I believe in fighting for free health care for all, including abortion on demand. I believe in free tuition. And free beer and chicken for union members on Sundays.

At least I did. But all that has changed.

It started with Russiagate and climaxed with Impeachment Derangement.

My good friend Max P. opened my eyes. Max made me see that each is a farce, a witch hunt, a hoax designed by Soros, the Deep State and the Fake News media to undermine American democracy. The Russians are as innocent as Trump. It was the Ukrainians, under the malign influence of Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, who interfered in the 2016 elections. According to Max, Obama, Biden and Clinton got their buds in the CIA and FBI to blame the Russians and frame Trump for collusion.

I was dubious at first, but the Mueller Report confirmed everything Max said. No Collusion! And yet Rachel Maddow continued to Spew the Big Lie! How could this be, unless, as Max stated in no uncertain terms, the CIA Conspiracy continues unabated?

I was reluctant to believe such a CIA Conspiracy was possible, but then the DOJ IG Report revealed that, under Obama’s direction, high placed FBI officials tricked the FISA court in order to Spy on Trump. Incredibly, this Treason has gone Unpunished. Why? Because, as Max patiently explained, up until now, the Liberal CIA has been indomitable. And only Trump has been man enough to fight it.

Due to be released in June, to ensure that Truth, Justice, and the Republicans Prevail, the Barr-Durham report will reveal that an evil Papist-cum-Leftist branch of the CIA (Brennan, Biden, Pelosi) along with HILLARY, is behind the plot to Smear Trump and overthrow Democracy. Thank God Max told me how it really works. Despite 35 years investigating the CIA, I thought it was run by right wing fascists working for the super-rich. I thought the CIA had staged a coup in Ukraine and that the CIA was still battling Russia for control of Crimea.

Little did I know. But now, thanks to Max and his fellow Gabbard-wing Libertarian, I know Russia is not our longstanding enemy, and that the CIA is controlled by a secret cabal of neoliberals trying to impede peace with Putin for their own enrichment. Under God-fearing Republicans, the Senate Judiciary, Finance, and Homeland Security Committees will collaborate Ukraine’s meddling in the 2016 election in time for Trump ascension.

“Look,” the Apostle Max said in his gently mocking tone, “Oliver Stone likes Putin and Putin said Trump was impeached for on “made-up reasons.” What more proof do you need?”

I had to admit, that made for an almost airtight case. Then Rudy confirmed everything the Apostle Max had said. Rudy provides more proof than you can imagine. All you brainwashed doubters out there, turn off Rachel, stop grinning about impeachment, and watch Rudy’s documentary on OANN TV. See for yourself. Biden is the Traitor! Trump is your Truth-Telling Friend.

Yesterday, at Max’s suggestion, I read Triggered in one sitting. And the scales finally fell from my eyes. I learned the true meaning of words. I realized it’s the disinformation Democrats habitually employ that has confused me all along. Pelosi saying she prays for Trump is the perfect example. She’s obviously lying. May her false teeth fall out!

And now Pelosi wants to delay sending the articles of impeachment to the Senate! When will these Devils leave Trump alone to do God’s work and destroy the Satanic Deep State (aka the Democrats)? There is going to be Hell to pay, as Max says. Already Trump’s secret agents are organizing the vigilante DHS-ICE Death Squads that will hunt down and kill Trump’s tormentors like the mangy dogs they are.

It happened in Bolivia. It can happen here.

Long have I believed my own assumptions about right and wrong, true and false. No more. I realize now there’s only one way to endure this vicious world, to live like Trump in eternal youth and enlightenment until the Rapture. Accept the Golden Chosen One! Save your sorry ass and climb on the bandwagon before the Vengeance begins.

And that’s how I learned to stop hating and love Donald Trump.

Thank you, Max.

            <p class="postmeta">This article was posted on Monday, December 23rd, 2019 at 7:32am and is filed under <a href="https://dissidentvoice.org/category/donald-trump/" rel="category tag">Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://dissidentvoice.org/category/satire/" rel="category tag">Satire</a>.

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