You ever have a dream where during the dream you really think you are getting some insight, things figured out, maybe a revolutionary idea, concept and you know you are going to remember it when you wake up and you know it’s still going to be amazing in the morning? It’s not really one of those “Is This Heaven No It’s Bangladesh” things, it’s different.
Well …
This is about an NDE, near-death experience, or, it’s about a dream. I can’t say for sure which, not sure we will ever know. The documents will not be released in your lifetime or in the lifetime of your grandchildren.
My NDE slash insightful dream happened one day when I was sleeping in the backyard. My dog was also asleep so we were both sleeping, braving the falling walnuts.
I dreamed, I think, or I died and I was driving, doing the hand signals and singing Y-M-C-A and I look up and I’m in this red-light intersection and the electronic camera is like staring right at me and it sees into my soul … and then … I was working my part-time job that I was not even aware I had, as a Russian spy, dispatched from Tovarish Robata, a Russian spy temp agency.
They had me switching out the grey sweat sizes at Walmart, mixing the small and XXL sizes in the bins … and then I was standing in line at Walmart, maybe that same Walmart, and then, maybe not, and then I dreamed or I died on the toilet, and just as quickly I was driving again, now across Nebraska to Colorado to get Coors, and I was in a hurry because I was at a party, and there was this one girl who was kind of impressed that I was going to Colorado to bring back Coors … and then I was in the living room after Thanksgiving dinner with Uncle Bill and we were both unbuttoning our pants to clear out some room and Bill leans back in the easy chair and says, so, Sparky, and I suppose we never went to the moon, either?
And from that scene from my episodic dream-death throes, I was now flying without aid of anything just my imagination over main street at home in just my underwear, the whites, and everyone is there, cheering, so I must have done something right.
Since this time I have watched probably nine, actually seven hundred four, YouTube videos about near death experiences.
Most people get clouds, vivid colors, meeting Zeus, Harriet Tubman, Joe DiMaggio, The Michelin Man …. inter-galactic travel, sensory up the ying-yang, feel-good, go back home, feel great, live great life, hugging every plant, dog, stranger for the next forty years.
I didn’t find it to be that, exactly.
