Architecture of Cities: Mapping Beauty XII

The Math and Freud

The likeness in the mirror is often a common dwarf mongoose: I appear lazily inattentive: From a titled sentinel position  I consider the window of fractured moments before my eyes. I am not on duty to fend against the enemy- -I am reviewing the (troops) light before darkness; light after dark: Larger than the planet itself there is a single moment hidden among the refracted prisms- -not a shadow nor shard of light escapes my camera’s eye.

The nature of me becomes akin to “walking in beauty”, the gait with certainty- -the pleasures that  my captures provide and evidence of the life in the rear view.

There is a lunacy in me: Chaplin like silly- – at best: an infancy that remains a bit before I rise in the morn and eyes shut in the night: Eyes awaken, eyes wide shut I imagine the sight upon the first moments- -the first sight: The first gasp: My first site:

I often play my life in rewind mode: I pause on occasions to learn from the captured investigations- – Nestled somewhere on earth desires are equally met and not met: Elevated passions prey upon my dreams. Inspirations mine adventures- -adventures mine inspirations. They are bookmarks from days before that challenged my visual worlds old and new, new and old: The heart makes the world matter- -The matter of the heart lifts us.

I humbly  describe my experiences- -each syllable is merely a fighting moment: I have stared down the presence of just about every building (like a wildebeest eyed by a lioness) with a locked and loaded camera. I never know what will be- –

The gasp that cannot be heard: The  slight adjust of a lapel on a coat a hem on a skirt or two inch cuffs on men’s slacks- -A child’s guffaw in ear distance- -brick/mortar and more spoke to why the lens should caress! The eyes have it, I imagine.

A modest realm of photography I live in- -enthralled by what the world had to offer- -Yet to offer: Each day comes down to 1/30th or 1/60th of a second: Quietly the camera is supposed to snap- -if a moment is heard- – the minute, the hour, the day my entire life will be framed in a holding pattern- -within a shutter-release. The world is there. I analyze beyond necessity- -Sigmund Freud or another might lend a hand in the direction of the couch.

I look at everything from the first photo the first architecture- – I stand in position for mathematical fractions- -I measure my life and dreams in fractions. The fraction when the camera snaps; Freud or another offers another session on the couch: I evaluate what matters- -I evaluate what matters again and again. I wait for an explanation and again. I explain that I see in fractions- -moments await.

The interminable Illusion is where the joy of my photography lives: The past and present are measured from iota to largesse: My mind makes the most from extremes: Something shifts: It is the math- -The lens makes a calculation, and another. Freud or another welcomes me back to the couch again: I explain the need for a conquest: It is a minor blip on the screen never to be like the epic Greeks’ or others or another: my breathing pauses: A camera’s conquest is out of reach: Something in mine eyes is always worth, truly worth waiting for- -I wait again: I measure  the shutter and apertures: Madness prevails- -mad math is what it is- – 1/30th or more: I am determined to lean into all of the buildings, edifices and designs- -that are my days.

I emphasize the need to gasp- – the sound that indicates my camera has arrived: The welcome eyes of the lioness staring down the wildebeest is an admission difficult to utter: It indicates I am locked in with a capture near: I dance. I dance again like an elfin Charlie Chaplin. Freud and others may suggest lunacy.